14th of the month

14.04.2013, i am 23 years and 4 months old today. and i did realise that i made some wrong decision in the previous months. for stopping the mistake to being continued, i send a message to HIM and apologize to him. i just don't hope to keep hurting any other people who treat me really nice again.

I am not sure is this the right time to tell all these things to u or not. just i think i should let u know about what i am thinking before both of us make some wrong decision and be together. after the whole day walking alone and keep thinking about the things that happened between us, i just can say that i am glad to know u, u are a nice guy though, caring, concern, worry about me all the time although we are just friend. i know that u have fall in love with me and i might have the same feeling too, but i am sure that we will not have the chance to be together although we are loving each other truly from our heart. ya, u didnt read the wrong thing, i mean i am fully concious when i write all these things to u. we will not ever have the chance to be together, because of me. frankly speaking, i can be ur gd friend, best friend, the one who concern about u although i did not do as gd as u are, and even ur soulmate, but to be ur wife, i am sure that i could not be the best for u. ya, as what we have discuss from the beginning, is all about religious. since it is a must for me to convert to islam if i decide to marry to u, but i am sorry that i might not able to fulfill the duty as a muslim wife. there are many things that i am not able to do and would not complete it although it is a must. this is why i break up with my ex (who i told u yesterday)..
really sorry for all these things. i just dont hope to see u keep hoping for the chance but actually u will get nothing at last. sorry for keep giving u hope and let u down.. i am not a gd girl, i am just always make other ppl heart broken..